Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Important RECALL notice

Perhaps you have seen this posted elsewhere, but if not ... take notice!

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been identified as "Subsequential Internal Non-morality", more commonly referred to as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:
  1. Loss of direction
  2. Foul vocal emissions
  3. Amnesia of origin
  4. Lack of peace and joy
  5. Selfish or Violent behavior
  6. Depression or confusion
  7. Fearfulness
  8. Idolatry
  9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service FREE OF CHARGE to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, named Jesus, has most graciously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.  **There is no additional fee required.**

The number to call for repair is 1-800- PRA-YER.

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.  Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter now big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
  1. Love
  2. Joy
  3. Peace
  4. Patience
  5. Kindness
  6. Goodness
  7. Faithfulness
  8. Gentleness
  9. Self-control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (known as the Best Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING:  Continuing to operate the human being unit without corrections VOIDS any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list.  This will result in the human being unit being permanently impounded.  For FREE emergency service, call on Jesus!

DANGER:  The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped to the furnace.  The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.  Thank you for your attention!

- God

P.S. Please assist your family and friends, wherever possible, by notifying as many as possible of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Manufacturer directly anytime by 'knee-mail'.

BTW, I did not write this.  I do not claim any credit for it.  No copyright infringement intended.

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