It has been an odd week for me and I couldn't quite put my finger on it until I got out of bed this morning and grabbed my Bible. Let me see if I can explain to you what God wanted to tell me this morning.
I have never been a very consistent person with my devotions all my Christian life. I'm a 'spurter'. I would go in spurts. Last November I did the writing challenge of Nanowrimo. But I added my own slant. If I am going to challenge myself to write everyday - which I want to do anyway, then I will make myself do my devotions first before typing a single word. It worked. I got up every weekday morning an hour earlier and did my devotions and then typed on my manuscript. I was amazed at my own consistency - something I'd struggled with for years. Even after the writing contest was over I maintained my regular quiet time with God, waking early on school days to read my Bible and study. (I wish I could say I maintained my writing time too.)
Typical for me is that I can sustain something for awhile until I hit a speed bump. Those bumps - for me - are as simple as a change in routine. My speed bump was going to be Christmas break.
Imagine with me playing a video game of Mario where he can't jump. He can play and kick mushrooms or whatever he needs to do just fine until he has to jump up on a new level. He can move backwards and forwards but he can't go up.
That is how I felt. As soon as there was a change in my routine all my hard work would be gone. It would take me months to get going again. Maybe that doesn't describe you but that was my life to a 't'.
However this time was different.
I was able to get myself back on track when the holidays ended. I have endured and succeeded with long weekends and teacher conventions to get me to this week.
- Sunday night I set my alarm, but discovered 10 minutes before I usually wake up the kids that I forgot to turn my alarm on. (Thank goodness I woke up - but not in time to do my devotions.)
- Monday night I made sure I turned it on, but I hadn't slept good that night so when the alarm went off I reset it for 30 mins later. I figured a shorter time in the Word was better than no time. However, in my foggy state I set it for the wrong time and again woke up minutes before I needed to wake the kids. Strike two.
- Then the next morning my alarm just didn't go off. Period. No explanation. Just no alarm.
That was three mornings in a row that I didn't get up. After setting a habit for four+ months and surviving many speed bumps I had gone three days without. It caused me stress on top of the stress I have already been under and I was quickly becoming overwhelmed. I was angry with myself for dropping the ball.
Yet, here I am, awake at a ridiculously early hour. This morning I woke up an hour BEFORE my perfectly set alarm would have gone off. I was stewing, plotting, planning - anything to relieve the stress from the issue I am facing at this time. So, after a three day lapse (six days if you count the extended weekend we had) I opened my Bible and my devotional book and went to God's lap.
The message in my devotional today was heaven sent. Not because my soul had been barren of His Word for six days. It was absolutely perfect because it spoke to the very place my troubled heart was this morning. In fact, I cried a tear as I finished the pages, because I knew in my heart that if I had heard this devotional lesson three days ago it would NOT have found the fertile soul it found this morning. I needed to hear God tell me this message. But more importantly I needed to hear it today!
So in all that, what did I learn more than anything else? That I shouldn't worry about my life - what I should eat or wear or do - because the God of the Universe who sees all my needs and my troubles has it ALL under his control.
Even my alarm clock.
I will share the devotional ideas in another post - just in case it is just what you needed to hear.
Our God is an awesome God, He reigns from heaven above, with wisdom, power and love. Our God is an awesome God.!Amen.