Trust me ... I failed.

Did you make any New Year's resolutions?

If you did I must ask the question no one wants to answer.  Have you broken any yet?

You can shy away from the computer now, or click the now glaringly large X in the top corner of your screen ... or you can hear me say I have failed my only resolution ALREADY.

It is only the 8th day into the New Year.  That is only 192 hours I have lived in 2013.  How could I have failed it already?  Well for starters, I knew I would.  But I decided not to let that stop me from making it my new mission.

Last year at the beginning of 2012 I told you about adopting a word  instead of a bunch of resolution statements.  I did that last year. I chose ETERNAL. (You can read about it here.)  That's a good word, a well chosen word to challenge me and stretch me. However I discovered something along the way that is very telling about my own life and spiritual journey.

It is almost impossible to let the eternal mindset rule in your mind and heart when you don't trust what that eternity is.

There I said it.  Big sigh.  I have been a Christian for over twenty years, a Pastor's wife since 2001 and I had no idea that I never believed "it" in the areas that counted.  There are a lot of things I know and believe, such as:

• I know I am saved.  
• I know I am a child of God.
• I know where I will go when I die.  

But there was something very important I knew but didn't believe. (You know, the whole my heart and my head see things differently thing.)

• He has something better for me than I could even imagine or ever dream of asking for (Eph 3:20)

Last year, although I wanted to focus on looking to eternity I always hit a wall.  No matter what I tried to give up to Him I always took it back.  I realized I couldn't let go of the reins because I didn't trust the driver.  I was the embodiment of the famous bumper sticker.

So needless to say I had to back things up this year and focus on the word TRUST.  This new year needs to be a building block year, a day-by-day lesson in the fundamentals. I need to un-learn 'how to drive'.  

Sometime in November during my morning devotions I read Psalm 25. It was eye-opening to me - showing me the large gaping cracks in my faith.  

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in You I trust, O my God.

My word for 2013 ... TRUST.

My mission ... memorize the entire Psalm 25 and make it the song of my unspoken heart.

My expectations ... to fail but to become stronger with each fall. Each time I try to place my hopes, dreams, life in His hands I learn more of His ways.  Of Him.  Things like, he is infinite.  He is strong. He is loving.  He is merciful.  He is good.  He is gentle.  He is capable.  He is faithful.  He is King.  He is wise.  He is right.

There are not many things in life that you can fail at every day but still come out victorious in the end.

God is able to make you strong, just as the Good News says.  It is the message about Jesus Christ and his plan for you Gentiles, a plan kept secret from the beginning of time.  But now as the prophets foretold and as the Eternal God has commanded, this message is made known to all Gentiles everywhere, so that they might believe and obey Christ.  To God, who alone is wise, be the glory forever through Jesus Christ.  Amen.     Romans 16: 25-27

Do you have a word for this year?  How did your word for last year go?  Share your thoughts to encourage us all.

(Photo taken from Amazon.com)  I did not know you could still buy these bumper stickers.  The newer version reads.  If God is your co-pilot, then change seats!