My daughter took a book out from our church library last night. It is book one in a series that I have never read but I absolutely love the author. I told her it should be quite funny.
The book is called So not Happening by Jenny B Jones.
While my daughter watched an episode of her favorite show on the computer before bed I picked up the book to check it out. I fell in love with it by the first sentence and was laughing out loud in our busy living room by page two. If you've never experienced Jenny's humour you need to check it out. It is so witty and ... well, awesome!
But by page three I came up to the best laugh out loud I could (then I was banished to my room after that). I wish I could just paste it all here for you to read for yourself. Since I can't I will give a recap:
- Bella Kirkwood is sixteen years old and standing as maid of honor at her mother's wedding.
- She is a little overwhelmed by the six month romance, the move from high society New York to a farm in rural Oklahoma and the sudden adoption of two brothers.
- She panics when the Preacher asks if anyone has any objections and at the last possible second she yells out.
- Her mother quietly questions her as to why and all Bella can come up with is the lame excuse that the groom's middle name was Ralph and that was probably a bad sign.
- The mother returns to her post, the wedding proceeds and the deed is signed on Bella"s drastically changing life.
After I settled down from my giggles I took a deep sigh. If only I could talk to Bella at this moment I would tell her ... fainting doesn't work either.
Yes folks, it is true I fainted at my mother's wedding! Not to stop it of course - and definitely not on purpose! But I did it nonetheless.
Now, I am not sure how many of you can attest to even being present at your mother's wedding (and I mean actually born, too). Let's see a show of hands ...
Then let's see how many of you can admit (even if only in private) you have fainted at a wedding - on the stage - as a part of the wedding party? Let me see your hands ...
Well, if only Bella knew that her mother would run to her aid, make sure she is feeling alright then cautiously help her out the back door of the church into the fresh air. Then as a caring - but preoccupied - mother, she would give her a hug and a squeeze and then step back into the sanctuary to finish what she came there to do. Get married.
Fainting doesn't work!
So, let me clear up one very glaring misconception brewing among you. I never wanted to stop my mother's wedding. I was happy for her, encouraged her and was sad to have missed the rest of the ceremony. Truly. She married a wonderfully loving man whose name is (thankfully) Ray, not Ralph. And they are happily traveling the continent together in their home on wheels.
However I found the scenario funny and thought someone should warn Bella in case she dare try it again.
Fainting doesn't stop your mother's wedding! Thank God!
I would love to hear your most embarrassing, er ... I mean funny wedding stories.