Chapter eighteen, page three

I took a taxi back to Stacie's house, just as I promised.  It was very hard not to direct the driver to a certain apartment building where I might see a glimpse of Quinn.  

In fact, each day after that called to me to stop by the hospital or the bakery.  My heart wanted one more chance to see Quinn.  I decided to leave it up to God.  He could orchestrate a chance meeting anywhere and anytime.  My heart hoped He would.

My week with Stacie and Neale went so quickly.  I saw so many exhilarating sights around Paris.  Stacie loved my red dress until I wore it to her conservative church service.  It didn’t matter to me, though.  I felt beautiful in it.  Besides, I rationalized that God had shown it to me.  Therefore, he wasn't surprised to see me wear it - not even in His house.  The only people shocked were my sister and her husband.  A fresh, new beginning.

Stacie’s eyes filled with tears as we stood in line at the airport.  I was about to pass through the security gates and leave my sister behind .  Our time together was precious to me.  It surpassed all that I thought it would be. 

Only, that was not the hardest part for me.  I had clung to a small hope that somehow Quinn would find me.  The longing to make Paris all about him and I had been a low rumble in my heart each day.  I knew if I left Paris then I left Quinn behind. 

Sure I had prayed.  The Lord had probably grown tired of my requests to “bump” into Quinn at the market, the mall, or the restaurant.  Wherever I went, I made my wish known.  Today was no exception.  

Lord, please let Quinn be here.  Maybe he is flying somewhere, or he is picking a friend up or something.  I know you can do that Lord.  You can do anything.

However time ticked away.  The tick-tock blared in my ears as I sat in departures waiting.  The seconds loudly skittered past as I boarded the plane for Canada.  I searched each and every face that passed by me.  I checked every seat.  Soon the flight attendants closed the doors and began to prepare for takeoff.  My heart sank as the plane was slowly forced backwards.  My dream has ended.  I will head home to face my lonely life ... alone.

I determined myself not to sleep on this flight.  I read a magazine and then a book.  I watched the television and spent endless passages of time staring out into the cloud masses.  

It took several hours into the flight before I could bring myself to speak to God.  He let me down.  He gave me hope and then took it away.  My house would be too quiet after staying in Stacie’s home.  My solo life would be hollow after my exciting days with Quinn.  Even more hollow than it had been for three years.

As much as I wanted to feel angry with God,  I couldn't.  Buried somewhere deep within me was a seed.  One I planted into Quinn’s life that was probably meant for me.

Quinn is not yours to give up or hold on to.  He belongs to Me.  As soon as you can process that then the pain will dissipate.

***

Upon arriving in Montreal I found Mitch’s mother waiting for me at the luggage carousel.  She embraced me with her tall, full frame.

“How was your trip, Cathie?”

“Therapeutic.”

She looked at me with a curious look.  “That’s good ... I think.”  She squeezed my hand as we stood waiting for the suitcases to fall.  “So, I'm dying to now.  Did you meet anyone new?”

She was from the same camp as my sister.  Everyone - except God, seemed to think it was time for me to meet a new man.

“I met a man on the plane.  He was very friendly.”  I contemplated asking her if she knew Quinn, but I decided not to.

“You didn’t happen to make plans to see him again did you?”

“Evelyn!  I just met him on the plane.  I'm not that desperate.”

She started to scan the crowd.  “Which one is he?  What's he wearing?”

“It wasn't this flight.  I met him on the way to Paris.”

She looked deep into my eyes and I blinked in case she could see right through.  “God has a plan Sweetie.”

“I know.”  I sighed.  He has a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, apparently. He has a plan to turn my mourning into joy and my ashes into beauty.  I'm just waiting.

Chapter eighteen, page two

It amazed me how the layout of the mall was exactly what I had pictured.  I grabbed a quick snack at the same food kiosk that Quinn and I had.  Then up the escalator and a third of the way down the mall corridor was the store I was looking for.  Hanging in the window was a black spaghetti strap number.  I held my heart for a minute.  How could a person dream every detail of the future before it happens.  That was confirmation that the dream was more than just a dream.  It was a vision.  I was right to warn Quinn.

I gasped.

If the mall is fact, then so is what is happening to Quinn right now.  His house would be a pile of ashes lining his property.  His bakery would be shot apart.  And Anna will be taking a few of her last breathes.  ‘Lord, hold Quinn up through this.'

I hope he took my advice and saved one of his contracts.  If he left the airport thinking I was crazy and ignored what I said, everything would be a waste.  However I remember his face as we stood behind Stacie's car.  I cannot let my heart believe that he would ignore it all.  In his eyes I saw a twinkle of hope.  He wanted to believe me. 

Entering the store, a tall, slender woman greeted me in French.  She appeared to be in her late thirties or early forties probably.  Not the same sassy young thing I remember.

“Puis-je vous aider?”  She asked.

I shook my head.  “No thank you.”

“Ooh.  An American?”

“No.  I am from Canada.”

“I love Canada.  I have an aunt who lives in Manitoba.  Do you live in Manitoba?”  The woman's English was good but her accent was rich.

I shook my head again.  “Quebec.”

She chuckled out loud.

“What is so funny about that?”

“A Canadian - from Quebec - who doesn’t speak French?”  She laughed again behind her hand.

“Je parle français.”  I just don’t like to.

She regained her composure.  “Sorry.”

I walked away from her looking at the clothes hanging around the store.  The fashions were fancy compared to my closet.  Then I spotted the lilac colour I remembered.  I quickened my step to its side.  Holding the hanger in front of me I tried to hold back my emotions.  It’s here.

Right away the tall woman was beside me.  “Would you like to try it on?”

“No thank you.  I can’t reach the zipper.”

The clerk’s jet black hair flopped to one side as she cocked her head in confusion.

“But I am looking for a red dress.” I said.

Her eyes lit up.  “I have many red dresses.”  She turned to walk away.

“No.  I know exactly which one I want.”

She stopped in her tracks.

“It has small white flowers and the skirt is wide, so it lifts up when you dance in circles.”  I almost started to waltz in her store. Luckily I caught myself before my memories took over.

She watched me closely for a moment.  Her eyes roaming over me looking for answers.  My face must have revealed my heart more than I had planned on.  She smiled all the way to her eyes and then turned silently to walk across the store.

With no trouble, the woman found the red dress.  seeing the lilac dress didn't prepare me enough for seeing the red one in front of me.  I choked back a tear.  It’s real. 

I snatched it from her and announced I would pay for it.  She tried to convince me to try it on but I told her I knew it would fit.  It would fit perfectly, in fact.  After giving me that same look she did before, she wrapped the dress into the store bag and handed it to me.

As I walked away she called out.  “It's none of my business, but you are not a typical shopper.  Why that dress?”

My eyes closed as my feelings for Quinn surfaced once more.  “There is a man who loves this dress on me.  I guess I figured that even if I can’t have him, I can have the dress.”

My attention had been on my treasured images of Quinn, but when I looked up at the woman she had a tear curving down her high cheek.

I smiled.

“Thank you.  Au revoir.”  I said.

She wiped her face and waved to me.

Chapter seventeen, page one

“Quinn, I am sorry to do this.  I wish things were different.  Trust me.”  I hung my head a moment as I grieved what was in the dream and yet would never be again.  There is no love in his eyes today.

“Try to get past the question of how I know all these things and focus on what you are to do about them.  Okay?”

He half-nodded.

“I think I have been given this information to warn you about some things.  So, I am just going to say it as if it is all factual.”  I inhaled a deep courage-searching breath.  “For starters don’t go to the pub tonight.  Dean is looking for you.  He wants his money now.”

Already I could see Quinn’s mind racing – probably asking, ‘how does she know about the pub?  Or the money?  Or who is this crazy woman?’

“Dean is going to take drastic measures over the next twenty-four hours to destroy your copies of the contract.  You know, the one you have in your safe at work and the other at your home - the one in the blue envelope.”

Quinn’s face, bent out of shape with confusion and general ‘weirded-out-ness’ slightly nodded again.

Chapter thirteen, page two

My feet found their way to the bed in front of me.  I sat as a motionless prisoner to the facts.  My words, my actions and my very presence seemed to make Quinn’s life worse.

 

Despite that, I could not deny that look in his eyes.  There was no misinterpreting his words on the hood of his car.  Or the smile he offered to me numerous times.  He didn’t want me to leave.

God if you put me in this situation than I am counting on you getting me out.  Was I going to break this man’s heart, or mine in six days when I leave for home?  I tried to imagine again that perfect smile disappearing from his face and a look of broken heartedness overtaking him.  Only I couldn’t.  Somehow even in our most precarious situations his smile had never gone far.  I had seen angry for sure, when he saw all his possessions destroyed.  I had seen compassion in him whenever he looked at me.  In fact, I had seen hope when he visited Anna.  However I had not seen him broken-hearted.   

Then without planting the thought there myself I saw a vision of him standing outside in his new clothes crying.  No ... weeping.