Chapter eighteen, page three

I took a taxi back to Stacie's house, just as I promised.  It was very hard not to direct the driver to a certain apartment building where I might see a glimpse of Quinn.  

In fact, each day after that called to me to stop by the hospital or the bakery.  My heart wanted one more chance to see Quinn.  I decided to leave it up to God.  He could orchestrate a chance meeting anywhere and anytime.  My heart hoped He would.

My week with Stacie and Neale went so quickly.  I saw so many exhilarating sights around Paris.  Stacie loved my red dress until I wore it to her conservative church service.  It didn’t matter to me, though.  I felt beautiful in it.  Besides, I rationalized that God had shown it to me.  Therefore, he wasn't surprised to see me wear it - not even in His house.  The only people shocked were my sister and her husband.  A fresh, new beginning.

Stacie’s eyes filled with tears as we stood in line at the airport.  I was about to pass through the security gates and leave my sister behind .  Our time together was precious to me.  It surpassed all that I thought it would be. 

Only, that was not the hardest part for me.  I had clung to a small hope that somehow Quinn would find me.  The longing to make Paris all about him and I had been a low rumble in my heart each day.  I knew if I left Paris then I left Quinn behind. 

Sure I had prayed.  The Lord had probably grown tired of my requests to “bump” into Quinn at the market, the mall, or the restaurant.  Wherever I went, I made my wish known.  Today was no exception.  

Lord, please let Quinn be here.  Maybe he is flying somewhere, or he is picking a friend up or something.  I know you can do that Lord.  You can do anything.

However time ticked away.  The tick-tock blared in my ears as I sat in departures waiting.  The seconds loudly skittered past as I boarded the plane for Canada.  I searched each and every face that passed by me.  I checked every seat.  Soon the flight attendants closed the doors and began to prepare for takeoff.  My heart sank as the plane was slowly forced backwards.  My dream has ended.  I will head home to face my lonely life ... alone.

I determined myself not to sleep on this flight.  I read a magazine and then a book.  I watched the television and spent endless passages of time staring out into the cloud masses.  

It took several hours into the flight before I could bring myself to speak to God.  He let me down.  He gave me hope and then took it away.  My house would be too quiet after staying in Stacie’s home.  My solo life would be hollow after my exciting days with Quinn.  Even more hollow than it had been for three years.

As much as I wanted to feel angry with God,  I couldn't.  Buried somewhere deep within me was a seed.  One I planted into Quinn’s life that was probably meant for me.

Quinn is not yours to give up or hold on to.  He belongs to Me.  As soon as you can process that then the pain will dissipate.

***

Upon arriving in Montreal I found Mitch’s mother waiting for me at the luggage carousel.  She embraced me with her tall, full frame.

“How was your trip, Cathie?”

“Therapeutic.”

She looked at me with a curious look.  “That’s good ... I think.”  She squeezed my hand as we stood waiting for the suitcases to fall.  “So, I'm dying to now.  Did you meet anyone new?”

She was from the same camp as my sister.  Everyone - except God, seemed to think it was time for me to meet a new man.

“I met a man on the plane.  He was very friendly.”  I contemplated asking her if she knew Quinn, but I decided not to.

“You didn’t happen to make plans to see him again did you?”

“Evelyn!  I just met him on the plane.  I'm not that desperate.”

She started to scan the crowd.  “Which one is he?  What's he wearing?”

“It wasn't this flight.  I met him on the way to Paris.”

She looked deep into my eyes and I blinked in case she could see right through.  “God has a plan Sweetie.”

“I know.”  I sighed.  He has a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, apparently. He has a plan to turn my mourning into joy and my ashes into beauty.  I'm just waiting.

Chapter eighteen, page two

It amazed me how the layout of the mall was exactly what I had pictured.  I grabbed a quick snack at the same food kiosk that Quinn and I had.  Then up the escalator and a third of the way down the mall corridor was the store I was looking for.  Hanging in the window was a black spaghetti strap number.  I held my heart for a minute.  How could a person dream every detail of the future before it happens.  That was confirmation that the dream was more than just a dream.  It was a vision.  I was right to warn Quinn.

I gasped.

If the mall is fact, then so is what is happening to Quinn right now.  His house would be a pile of ashes lining his property.  His bakery would be shot apart.  And Anna will be taking a few of her last breathes.  ‘Lord, hold Quinn up through this.'

I hope he took my advice and saved one of his contracts.  If he left the airport thinking I was crazy and ignored what I said, everything would be a waste.  However I remember his face as we stood behind Stacie's car.  I cannot let my heart believe that he would ignore it all.  In his eyes I saw a twinkle of hope.  He wanted to believe me. 

Entering the store, a tall, slender woman greeted me in French.  She appeared to be in her late thirties or early forties probably.  Not the same sassy young thing I remember.

“Puis-je vous aider?”  She asked.

I shook my head.  “No thank you.”

“Ooh.  An American?”

“No.  I am from Canada.”

“I love Canada.  I have an aunt who lives in Manitoba.  Do you live in Manitoba?”  The woman's English was good but her accent was rich.

I shook my head again.  “Quebec.”

She chuckled out loud.

“What is so funny about that?”

“A Canadian - from Quebec - who doesn’t speak French?”  She laughed again behind her hand.

“Je parle français.”  I just don’t like to.

She regained her composure.  “Sorry.”

I walked away from her looking at the clothes hanging around the store.  The fashions were fancy compared to my closet.  Then I spotted the lilac colour I remembered.  I quickened my step to its side.  Holding the hanger in front of me I tried to hold back my emotions.  It’s here.

Right away the tall woman was beside me.  “Would you like to try it on?”

“No thank you.  I can’t reach the zipper.”

The clerk’s jet black hair flopped to one side as she cocked her head in confusion.

“But I am looking for a red dress.” I said.

Her eyes lit up.  “I have many red dresses.”  She turned to walk away.

“No.  I know exactly which one I want.”

She stopped in her tracks.

“It has small white flowers and the skirt is wide, so it lifts up when you dance in circles.”  I almost started to waltz in her store. Luckily I caught myself before my memories took over.

She watched me closely for a moment.  Her eyes roaming over me looking for answers.  My face must have revealed my heart more than I had planned on.  She smiled all the way to her eyes and then turned silently to walk across the store.

With no trouble, the woman found the red dress.  seeing the lilac dress didn't prepare me enough for seeing the red one in front of me.  I choked back a tear.  It’s real. 

I snatched it from her and announced I would pay for it.  She tried to convince me to try it on but I told her I knew it would fit.  It would fit perfectly, in fact.  After giving me that same look she did before, she wrapped the dress into the store bag and handed it to me.

As I walked away she called out.  “It's none of my business, but you are not a typical shopper.  Why that dress?”

My eyes closed as my feelings for Quinn surfaced once more.  “There is a man who loves this dress on me.  I guess I figured that even if I can’t have him, I can have the dress.”

My attention had been on my treasured images of Quinn, but when I looked up at the woman she had a tear curving down her high cheek.

I smiled.

“Thank you.  Au revoir.”  I said.

She wiped her face and waved to me.

Chapter eighteen, Page one

Quinn and I parted with a friendly hug and I crawled inside ‘The Thing’.

“What was that all about?”  Stacie asked.

“Nothing.”

“Uh-huh.”  She teased.  “He is adorably handsome though.”

I smiled.  “He is, isn’t he?”

Then with a rev of her motor we set out on our way home.  The chatter was light which helped me to utter a silent prayer.  

“Lord, Quinn is Yours.  I entrust him to Your hands.  Take my words Lord and give them Your power.  That Quinn might know in his heart You are waiting for him.  Show him the way back to You God, so he can find the peace he is longing for.  I release him to You.

That night I slept like I hadn’t in years.  I couldn’t even be sure that I dreamt.  My heart was fresh and finally at peace after a long drought of doubt. 

Stacie had a wonderful French breakfast awaiting me when I came into her kitchen.  Neale had left for work and she had until three in the afternoon to devote only to me. 

“So, what is on your plan for us today?”  I asked.

“I hope you slept well, because I have a wonderful day planned for you.”

I nodded as I grabbed a baguette. 

***

Stacie and I had a marvellous morning together.  We visited the famous Louvre, took a walk along the river and ate a nice lunch outside at a local bistro.  Our time was filled with laughter and even a few tears.  I have missed my sister so much. Visiting with Stacie satisfied some of the deep longings of my spirit.  

Yet, Quinn was not far from my thoughts.  As we drove past locations I had seen in my dream, my heart pined for him.  I told myself, 'He is in God’s plan now' and I have to accept it.

When it was time for Stacie to go to work I asked her to drop me off at a mall.  She insisted on taking me to the closest mall by her house, but I had a very specific place I needed to shop at.  That mall was clear across the City.

“I don’t think you should be wandering the streets of Paris by yourself.  You don’t know the City very well.”

I squeezed her arm as she drove.  “I promise I won’t wander.  I know where I want to go.  A soon as I’m done shopping I’ll take the transit back to your place.”

“Not the transit!”

Her outburst made me jump.  “Why?”

“It might not be safe.  You never know who you’ll find on there.”

“I’ll take a taxi, then.”

“Not a taxi!  That will cost you a fortune.”

“Stacie.  I am a grown woman.  I can do this.”

She sighed in surrender.  “I know you can.  I just worry about you.”

“Maybe instead of worrying you can hope I meet a handsome French man along the way.”  In my attempt to distract her I opened a new problem.

“That is a good idea.  Why don’t you call that guy from the airport?  He can drive you home.”

I smiled outwardly, but inside I cringed.

“You know what you say about strangers, Stac.  You need to pick one side of the fence and stay there.”

She chuckled.  “I guess so.”

So she drove me to the Mall I had visited in my dream.  Giving me a hug before she left, she made me promise I would go home before dark.  “And you better call me the instant you arrive at my house.”

I blew her a kiss.  “Go to work.”

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Chapter seventeen, page one

“Quinn, I am sorry to do this.  I wish things were different.  Trust me.”  I hung my head a moment as I grieved what was in the dream and yet would never be again.  There is no love in his eyes today.

“Try to get past the question of how I know all these things and focus on what you are to do about them.  Okay?”

He half-nodded.

“I think I have been given this information to warn you about some things.  So, I am just going to say it as if it is all factual.”  I inhaled a deep courage-searching breath.  “For starters don’t go to the pub tonight.  Dean is looking for you.  He wants his money now.”

Already I could see Quinn’s mind racing – probably asking, ‘how does she know about the pub?  Or the money?  Or who is this crazy woman?’

“Dean is going to take drastic measures over the next twenty-four hours to destroy your copies of the contract.  You know, the one you have in your safe at work and the other at your home - the one in the blue envelope.”

Quinn’s face, bent out of shape with confusion and general ‘weirded-out-ness’ slightly nodded again.

Chapter sixteen, page three

Quinn returned balancing two paper coffees cups and his travel gear with his usual charismatic flair.  He is exactly as I imagined.  His smile, with so many different flavours, that filled my heart with joy.  His sunburnt-blonde hair that makes him look so young and handsome.  An intriguing sparkle behind his eyes that radiates his personality. There isn’t anything about him that I haven’t already seen. 

“I brought you a muffin as well.  You look dreadfully white.”  He sat with the goodies, passing mine over towards me.  Then he looked right into my eyes.  “Are you sure you’re alright Cathie?”

I nodded.

He cracked open the lid on his coffee and proceeded to dump several sugars packages in. 

“Um Quinn ... can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Please don’t get all weirded out though, okay?”

“Do I look like the kind of guy who gets weirded out?”  He offered a stellar smile.

“No, but ...”

Chapter sixteen, page two

“Excuse me Miss?”  A soft voice broke through my tired, vacant state.

My eyelids resisted the movement but eventually managed a flutter.  As my senses awoke I could tell Quinn was next to me; his warmth and his smell, unmistakable.  My head was against his shoulder so I snuggled in further.  He must have come back form the hospital.

“Sorry to waken you, but we have arrived at our destination.”  His soft and sweet accent raised my blood pressure enough to jolt myself to alert.

“Destination?”   My eyes popped open to gather more information.  A woman in a navy tailored suit coat that contrasted nicely with her red hair and sharp blue eyes was leaning over the top of a high back chair.  A chair with a television imbedded in it.  I’m on an airplane?

Amidst my haze, the woman spoke in a motherly voice.  “Are you well enough to disembark Dear, or do you require assistance?”

I turned towards Quinn beside me.  “Where are we Quinn?”

He chuckled.  “You are in Paris.”  He paused as his eyes probed deep into mine.  “How is it that you know my name?”  His accent rolling swiftly from his lips.

Chapter thirteen, page one

Quinn had one eye watching me and the other eye watching his own movements.  Finally his hands stilled and his arms slowly fell to his side.

“Tell me something, Cherie.”

I nodded.

“What sort of images are you entertaining at this moment?”

The mirror in front of me would not conceal my blush.  I stammered for the right words.

He turned around and smiled deeply.  “Are those sins too?”

Chapter twelve, page three

A comfortable silence followed us as we walked to my hotel room to clean up for the dinner party.  While we rode the elevator, Quinn’s phone buzzed.  As he answered it and rattled on in French to someone, I paid no attention.  There still was a battle waging in my head for what to believe.  My mind definitely wasn’t in the same place as my heart. 

Thirty-six hours ago and a continent away I was a barely-breathing, depressed widow convinced life needed to pass me by.  That without Mitch there was no reason to be happy or experience the rest of my life.  I had hoped and planned to experience it all with him.  Now look at me.  I am opening the doors to an amazing penthouse suite in Paris.  There is a devilishly handsome man at my hip that is interesting in me.  Instead of revelling in that, I am chastising myself for my own wayward thoughts about him.

Quinn hung up his cell phone.  “That was the detective.  He needs me to come down to the station for some questions and paperwork.  It seems that Dean is still trying to organize his bail, so we are set for the dinner party.  Would you mind if I quickly clean up and then head there?”

chapter five page two

The knock at the suite door woke me from my sleep.  

There was a brief moment where I did not know where I was.  As I scanned the room, taking in all the rich, dark fabric flowing from the ceiling to the floor, I remembered.  It was like a bad dream as it flooded back to my mind.

However not the bad dream I had last night.  I dreamt of Mitch.  Nothing about that was out of the ordinary, but something was different this time.  Mitch didn’t look the same. 

Usually when I dream of him, he is dressed in his black jeans and his button down dress shirt.  The sleeves are rolled up a third of the way revealing a hint of the dark hair that covers his forearms.  His leather watch I gave him our first Christmas together rests perfectly on his left wrist.  Over his right shoulder is his computer satchel.  He is dressed the same as the last day I saw him.  He was heading out the door that morning to meet with a group of investors for a building he was proposing.  

Instead of wishing him luck I pointed out that he should put on a tie or a sport coat.  He kissed my forehead, ignoring my criticism and said 'je t'aime mon amour'.  Just the same as he did every morning. 

However, last night he was dressed in something more colourful.  I think it was yellow.  It was hard to see exactly what it was because he was fuzzy.  There was no definite outline of him.  He was just a blur.  I chased him all night trying to see him more clearly and hear his words again.  But when he spoke it was garbled and muffled somehow.  It frightened me to think I might forget the sound of his voice.  Or even forget the look in his blue eyes as he leaned towards me to kiss my forehead.  What if I never see that again?

Then the knock came again reminding what woke me.  I stumbled out of bed and grabbed the robe lying across the back of a winged-back chair.  When I reached the door I fiddled with my long hair throwing it quickly into a knot at the back of my head.

I opened the door and there in front of me was a silver cart covered with a white linen cover.  Officer Clemens came into view.  “Bonjour, Mademosielle.  Comment ca va?”

“Fine, um, bien.  Merci, et vous?”

“Bien, merci.”

I wheeled the cart inside and closed the door.  The curiosity was tugging at me.  I whipped off the linen cover to reveal a metal covered tray with steam markings on the top.  A single red rose lying across the top with a perfectly hand scripted note.

Instantly I fetched the note and the rose and went towards the triangle of couches in the room.  The rose rested just below my nose as I read the handwritten note. 

Good Morning My Darling (Ma Cherie).

Enjoy your day.  I will call you at your 

hotel tonight.  Don’t forget to call your 

     sister – as she   will not be able to reach            

you through the front desk.   J'adore.

       Quinn

For a moment the fairy tale became real again.  He sent me a rose, a note and breakfast.  What a sweet gesture.  I rose to my feet to check on what the meal was that smelled so wonderful, when the thought accosted me.  Stacie!

I ran for the phone.  Quinn was right.  She would have tried to call me through the hotel’s front desk, but I am no longer registered here under my own name.  In fact I do not even know who I am registered under.  All I know is that my sister will be having a cow.

The phone was answered on the second ring.  “Allo.”

It was Neale.  “Bonjour Neale.  This is Cathie.  How are you?”

“Cathie!   Where are you?  Stacie is frantic trying to locate you.  She has gone to the police already.”

Neale’s accent could not hide the worry in his voice.  “I am fine.  Can you reach her?”

“Yes, she has my cell phone with her.  I will call her.”

“Actually Neale, could you give me the number?  I will just call her myself.  She will want to hear my voice.  Besides it might calm her down better.”

“You are right about that, however I would not hold my breath on the calming down part.”  He chuckled.

I scribbled his cell number down on a pad of paper by the phone.  “Merci beaucoup Neale.  Au revoir.”

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Chapter Three, page three

As Stacie pulled alongside the curb in front of my hotel Quinn finally released my hand.  He climbed out of his door before I had my seatbelt undone.  I reached over the seat, hugging Stacie again from behind and told her to call me in the morning.  

She gave me a worrisome look through the rear-view mirror. “Please tell me he is not staying overnight with you.”  Her eyes begged for my answer to please her.

“He’s not staying with me tonight.  I love you, Stacie.  Have a safe drive and a good sleep tonight.”  I kissed her cheek and winked at her in the mirror before crawling out of the back car door.  

In my mind I wondered what would happen next with Quinn.  He bolted extremely fast from Stacie’s car.  It was unlikely he was still around.  I’d seen in his eyes his interpretation of me - a crazy woman who just wouldn’t leave him alone.  It broke my heart, because I was certain before tonight his eyes held love for me.

Nothing about tonight made any sense – from Quinn not recognizing me all the way to the money in Stacie’s trunk to pay off the local Mob.  ‘Lord, there must be something that makes sense to You in all this.  I am trusting that You are in control amidst my chaos.’

Fetching my suitcases from her trunk, I headed into the Hotel lobby with my head hung low.  Somehow this day needs to come to an end with tomorrow having fresh new mercies.  ‘Please God.’  That is a prayer that has graced my lips many times over the last three years.

As I pressed the elevator button I felt a hand come around my waist.  I spun around right into his full embrace.  “I am so sorry Cherie.  I never meant to put you any danger.”  He squeezed me so tight before he pushed me back to see my face.  “Will Stacie be alright?”  His eyes glinted with a hint of fear and remorse wrapped tightly in compassion.

“She’ll be fine.  That’s if I can stop freaking her out.”  There was no doubt that tonight I stand alone in my version of reality.  Hopefully this universe will right itself by the morning’s dawn.

Quinn stood peering into my eyes searching into the depths of my soul.  “Cherie, where did you get that money from?”  His voice held no accusation.

“Quinn, I wish I had an answer for you.  Or at least one that made any sense.”  I could see his disappointment in my answer.  “Do you believe in God, Quinn?”

He flinched and released me fully from his grasp.  “Uh?  Let’s just say that he and I don’t see eye to eye.”  He stepped back away from me again. I watched his eyes tighten and the hard line of his jaw stiffen.

“But, I take it you believe in him?”  His accent took on a new brusque tone.  I didn’t like the sound of it at all.

“Well, as a matter of fact God is very important to me and He guides everything I do.”  My response caused even more discomfort than my original question had.  Quinn may have walked away from me if a family hadn’t arrived right behind him in line for the elevator. 

He closed the gap between us, placed his hand on the small of my back and whispered in my ear.  “Perhaps we could finish this conversation somewhere else?”  As his soft voice reached my ear it sent a tingle down my spine. Only to be met halfway by the tingle climbing up my back from where his touch was.  How odd it is, the comfortable level he has around me, yet he cannot remember me from before tonight.

The elevator door opened and just force of nature we entered without much thought.  As we traveled up the flights, my internal sensor began to alarm.  Although he had not been inappropriate to me in any shape or form, it appeared to me that he was planning on coming to my hotel room.  ‘Lord, give me the right words to say so that I do not make a horrible mistake with this man.’

Our floor arrived before the people standing in front of us, so we squeezed our way through them and out onto the third floor.  My room was at the farthest end from the elevator which gave me more reason for concern.  My hesitation at the elevator must have clued Quinn into my thoughts.

“Cherie, perhaps it is best for me to bid you good night.  Will you be alright?”  His eyes bled kindness into his words and again made my heart shiver.

I stumbled through my fast-paced heartbeat.  “Y-yes.  Sure I will.”

“Well then, you head off to your room and I will wait here for you to get in safely.”  He winked and gave me a small shove.  “Bonne Soir.  And thank you for everything Cherie.  I will try to ....”

“It’s Cathie.”  My voice sounded whimsical and lost in some romantic fairy tale.

A most delicate smile tipped the edges of his mouth all the way to his topaz eyes.  “I do know your name and I am sorry for not using it.  ‘Cherie’ is a term similar to ‘darling’.”  His eyes fell to the floor as a soft pink blush filled his cheeks.  “I will try not to be so personal, Cathie.”

The sound of my name sugared with his perfect tenor accent made my knees go weak.  ‘Lord, I don’t understand the effect he has over me.  There is no way a stranger can do this to my heart.  I am certain this is not our first encounter.  Lord, please help Quinn remember me.  Please Lord.  I am afraid my heart cannot take losing another man.”

Then with a deep sigh I turned to head down the hall towards my room.  Halfway down the hall I couldn’t resist turning to see if he was still there.  Amazingly, he stood like a sentinel at the elevator doors; my protector.  Thoughts of my evening with Quinn flooded my mind as I resumed my walk down the hall. 

However my eyes caught a glimpse through a set of atrium windows that overlooked the lobby below.  A group of three men were entering the main doors led by the pony-tail man from the pub earlier.  

NEXT CHAPTER starts here.