I moved a wall!

What kind of walls have you encountered in your life?

Walls come in all shapes and sizes, really. Some are so big we can't see over top of them. Others allow us a peek at where we could be if the wall wasn't in our way. Either way ... walls are frustrating.

I'd reached a wall in writing my latest story. Now, that was nothing new. In fact, it was becoming the norm. Somewhere around 2/3 of the novel I'd hit a wall and - until this time - I'd give up. (Sound familiar? Check out this blog post from Write to Done.)

I remember my first wall. I had written five complete stories. Not that it had been easy but it had definitely been a consistent flow for those early novels. I'd get the story idea. I'd write for two months. Then I was done. 

Then my sixth story was a little different for me. It had come from an idea I'd had in a dream. (Which meant it was a little hazy at times.) I started out good. I wrote steady for a long time until I came to a wall.

An invisible wall.

Do you know what kind of wall that is? 

This picture is of two of my kids when we visited California many years ago. As you can tell from the hats we were at Disneyland. (Actually, if my memory is right, this photo is from California Adventures.)

You can't tell from the photo exactly but my kids are standing flush against a painted wall.

An invisible wall.

A wall where you think you know where you are going but for some (concrete) reason you can't get there. An optical illusion.

Many times my stories have become optical illusions. I know where they are going but I can't seem to get there. I have written more than eleven stories now, but several sit incomplete at that same marker of 2/3 finished. It seems like I hit an invisible wall, change directions and then get way off track.

I need to learn how to move a wall - to push past that place and get back to the good ol' days of finished manuscripts.

I think I may have done it. (I really hope I don't jinx it by celebrating too soon.) For the last two weeks I have been stuck at the place at the wall. I had written up to a point but then felt a hard surface behind the next words. Instead of tossing the story aside and working on another one I decided to sit at the wall for a while. I pushed.  But to no avail. It was immovable.

I prayed.

And then I pushed some more.  This went on for quite awhile, but this time I was determined not to change course. I know writing is hard. I know in my heart those early manuscripts aren't realistic and practical of the the life of a writer. So if I'm serious about this I needed to learn how to move walls.

So I pushed some more.

Last night, when I desperately needed to be sleeping because of my early morning today, I found myself shifting cement.

Just a little.  But I promise you it moved.

I still have a long way to go to get this story finished all the way to THE END. Yet, I can't help celebrate a little today.

Have you ever moved a wall? Tell me about it and be my inspiration.

A day late ... but not a penny short!

March is here and as much as I am dying to announce from the roof tops that Spring is also ... that is wishful thinking. It is minus 25 here in Alberta, Canada this morning and we have still a ton of snow.

What I am announcing is that March is Speedbo month!  What is Speedbo, you ask? It is another writing month similar to NaNoWriMo, focusing writers to put their butt in a chair and their fingers atop a keyboard and not look up till the clock strikes midnight on March 31st. Unlike NaNo, Speedbo allows you to set your own goals, big or small, encouraging you to write with purpose and intention.

Check out the fun at Seekville Blog and be sure to comment because that's how you win prizes.

I seriously debated whether I would do it this year. I've been writing on and off but was really in a place of seeking God since the year turned over.  What did God want me writing? When? Why?  And all that jazz!

When the New Year hit I wasn't totally sure what my 2014 goals were. I floundered trying to find my 'word' for 2014. After much prayer and angst I decided that maybe this was a wait and see time for me. I didn't need a word to start out the first day of the Year, as long as I was seeking God and waiting on Him. So I waited.

And waited.

Slowly I began to hear God whispering to me "be present".

As I drove in my car, He'd whisper ... "Be present here. Don`t fuss about all that."

As I washed the dishes or folded the laundry, He'd say ... "Be present here. Don`t try so hard to sort it all out."

I am a slow learner, but I started to catch onto a theme - God wanted me to live in the moment he'd given me. My every waking second didn't need to be in preparation for the next one. That maybe it was time for me to have a year of moments.

I was reminded about the saying I have seen from time to time that 'Life isn't measured by the breaths we take ... but by the moments that take our breath away'.

So when it came time to sign up for Seekerville's Speedbo, I immediately started this internal dialogue that 'that's not taking moment by moment'; 'that's not waiting on God'; so I guess it`s not for me this year.

But here I am a day into March, sending off my email to join the group for writing mayhem throughout the rest of the month. Why?

Because sometimes God whispers to us 'wait' and sometimes He whispers to us 'now' - almost like we're in a race where timing is more important that speed. So March this year is about timing for me - not speed. I am not in a race against myself or anyone else to write a novel in a month, or write 25,000 words in a month or even to plot out a single scene in a month. I am in a race of timing - being sensitive to His whispers and being in each and every moment fully awaiting his nudge that now is the time to run!

So, anyone wanna run, wait, dream, write, hope or listen with me?

School is not out ... yet!

I feel like a student these days. God has been teaching my spirit so much lately that it mirrors my teenagers road to their final exams.
Cram it in.
Read it again.
Not sure I've got it down pat yet.
Oh, well ... here we go!

It all started with a snag in my spirit that rumbled just below the surface. And it has been there for many months now, or maybe even years. Part of it is my personality bent, part of it is my lack of confidence gained through experience but the hardest part to except is the portion that is God's chosen path for me.

There are three legs to this journey I am on and I will do my best to share them with you one at a time. Today I want to tell you about a movie I watched recently that wedged itself deep in between my heart and my soul. It is titled The Words. Some of you may be familiar with it as it was in theaters last September. You can find it in the movie stores now.

The story is about a writer (go figure!) who wants to be a successful author so bad. He has drive, determination and passion but he lacks ... talent.  The movie pulls you along a road the main character, Rory Jansen probably never imagined he'd take until he started to walk it. Please visit the trailer to be enticed and teased to watch it. But for now, all you need to know is that Rory sees the goal he wants, sees an open path to attain it and takes it without counting the FULL cost.

Sometimes in real life, and in fiction, people make foolish, selfish decisions they wish they could take back. Who would argue with that?

Yet, I am starting to see that sometimes the hard "cost" is actually the path we are meant to take. Now is where we all have a harder time swallowing.  Think back in your own life of a time when you had to endure something extremely hard in order to get to where you are now. Maybe it was a lay-off from a job you loved only to then be led to a better job. Or maybe it was a move? Or what if it was a death of a loved one? Or the death of a dream?

In the extra features on the DVD

The Frasier Contest is open!

Are you a writer?  Is there a novel ruminating in your head, or perhaps even on your computer?

I want to tell you about an awesome opportunity that I discovered last year.

For over two years now I have been a part of an online community of Christian writers. It is a teaching community that focuses on how to write better and then eventually sell better, of course. The women heading this project have a love of writing (they are published) and a passion for encouraging.

They have tailor made the group to teach to you at whatever level you are at - serious, dedicated writer or interested-but-in-my-free-time kind of writer. You won't be disappointed either way. Feel free to check out the group My Book Therapy here.

The reason for my post today is about a contest they offer titled the Frasier Contest. This isn't like other contests I have entered. The goal isn't publication or winning first place - the goal is feedback! That is something I have found hard to get since I have started writing. I'm not talking the kind of feedback I get from my mom or my sister-in-law - NOTHING AGAINST THEM - you guys are great!  I am talking about deep, concise (measurable) feedback from people who have traveled the writer's journey and who know the ins and outs of the publishing world. Good feedback.

Here are some of the reasons I entered the Frasier last year.

1. I knew I wasn't going to win any prizes or final in any big fancy contests with my writing - it just wasn't there yet. However I didn't really know where my writing sat. I wanted some honest feedback.

Whose your audience?

For several months now God has been speaking to me about something that seems so simple but it isn't.

In fact, it isn't only "not-so-simple", it feels almost impossible.  But thankfully God knew I would feel that way and he wrote a simple little sticky note just for me.


Luke 1:37  "For nothing is impossible with God."

Thank you God!  So what, you are asking, is the problem ...

How do I live my life for an audience of One?  How do I write for an audience of One?

This idea has been floating in my mind for quite some time.  But the interesting part is the phrase "audience of One" has been popping up in so many forms.

• It was the theme of a book I read many months ago, A Lasting Impression, by Tamera Alexander.  
• A word from a friend asking me why I had to be published.  
• A devotion calling me to love many, but only please One, by Holley Gerth.
• An ache deep in my spirit that i had fallen off the original path God had placed me on.

All of these forms pointed to my one burning question ... who am I doing this for?  Me?  You? or God?

Maybe "audience of One" is the popular phrase of the day - it doesn't matter to me.  What matters to me is that God has been whispering it to me to teach me something.

I received another round of results from my contest entries the other day.  It has me thinking again about why am I doing what I am doing.  Do you ever question that?  Ever wonder what you should be doing or if you are already doing it?

I know God asked me clearly to write stories down.  I cannot even pretend I didn't hear that message.  However He never said 'get published'.  His words never mentioned anything about that. I find the more I seek it out and travel that road - the more doors are closed.  Not physical doors, really.  But 'peace' doors.  As I push forward I lose sight of what I am doing.  I lose peace.  I lose confidence.  I lose ... everything that feels good about writing.